Behaviours that Destroy Relationships
No one wants to be in an unhealthy relationship, whether it’s with a spouse, significant other, family member, or friend. However, many people are not even aware of the behaviours that can undermine their relationships, leading to resentment and conflict. Try implementing these strategies to avoid behaviour that destroys relationships and create positive, trusting ones instead!
1) Always complaining
We all have things about our lives we wish
were different. That’s normal. But when you find yourself constantly griping,
or worse, spreading negativity to your friends and family, it can erode your
relationships. Instead of focusing on what’s wrong in your life, try and focus
on what you can change positively. After all, there are always things
you can be grateful for.
2) Not listening
When you don’t listen, you ignore your
partner’s emotional state and needs. Without good communication, it becomes
difficult for a relationship to succeed. We all know how painful it is when we
feel like we aren’t being heard—and your partner feels the same way!
The next time you talk with them, really focus on what they are saying. Listen
for non-verbal clues as well: does their voice sound irritated? Sad? Defensive?
3) Blaming your partner for everything
Think about it. If you’re always blaming
your partner for things, what does that say about your relationship? Are
you comfortable with a spouse who blames everything on you? Think about how
you’d feel if they blamed every negative aspect of their life on you. It might
seem like a small thing now, but it can be indicative of bigger issues in your
relationship—and could spell its end.
4) Focusing on the past
While we may have made mistakes in our
past, spending too much time rehashing them with your partner is a surefire way
to build resentment. Keep things moving forward by focusing on behaviours you’d
like to improve in your current relationship. Talk about how you can do better
and what you hope for from your partner going forward.
5) Taking your problems out on each other
When we’re stressed out, emotional, or
having a bad day, our natural inclination is to take it out on our partner.
Remember: you’re both in it together, and you need each other just as much as
you need air. There are times when hashing things out is necessary,
but be careful not to let your emotions rule your actions.
6) Resenting what you have
If you already have a great life and career
but are never satisfied, it’s time to take a step back and ask why. You may be
sabotaging your happiness by focusing on everything you don’t have, as
opposed to what you do. Take time each day—even just five minutes—to focus on
something that makes you happy, such as spending time with your family or doing
something creative. Remember: being grateful is a learned skill!
7) Feeling like a victim
Blaming your problems on other people,
places, or things isn’t helping you—or your relationship. Feeling like a victim
leads to resentment and unhappiness. Instead of blaming others, focus on taking
action by changing your thoughts, feelings, and behaviours. If you need
professional help with personal issues, seek counselling from someone who has
been trained to help you. The American Association for Marriage and Family
Therapy is a good place to start looking for a marriage and family therapist in
your area.
8) Enjoying the drama
Most people love a little drama now
and then, but too much conflict can make your relationships unhealthy. When
you’re on good terms with someone, you won’t be looking for drama; instead, it
will come naturally. Don’t be afraid of your closest loved ones—let them into
your life, and allow yourself to let go of negativity and anger.
9) Being too negative all the time
People who are negative all of the time are
just plain annoying. Even if they have good intentions, they never seem to be
able to see any good in anything. When you live with someone like that, you’re
bound to get on each other’s nerves sooner or later. If negativity is creeping
into your marriage or your friendship, it may be time for some change. To keep relationships healthy and happy, it is important to fight negativity in
yourself and others.
10 ) Gossiping behind their back
If you’re not telling your partner, or
anyone else for that matter, what you think of their behaviour, then there’s a
chance you may be gossiping about them behind their back. Gossip is often
extremely hurtful, and if you are involved in any kind of rumours surrounding
your partner, it might be time to reevaluate your behaviour. Don’t worry we
don’t mean to go around telling everyone how great they are!
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