Behaviours that Destroy Relationships

Behaviours that Destroy Relationships

 No one wants to be in an unhealthy relationship, whether it’s with a spouse, significant other, family member, or friend. However, many people are not even aware of the behaviours that can undermine their relationships, leading to resentment and conflict. Try implementing these strategies to avoid behaviour that destroys relationships and create positive, trusting ones instead!

 

1) Always complaining

We all have things about our lives we wish were different. That’s normal. But when you find yourself constantly griping, or worse, spreading negativity to your friends and family, it can erode your relationships. Instead of focusing on what’s wrong in your life, try and focus on what you can change positively. After all, there are always things you can be grateful for.

 2) Not listening

When you don’t listen, you ignore your partner’s emotional state and needs. Without good communication, it becomes difficult for a relationship to succeed. We all know how painful it is when we feel like we aren’t being heard—and your partner feels the same way! The next time you talk with them, really focus on what they are saying. Listen for non-verbal clues as well: does their voice sound irritated? Sad? Defensive?

 3) Blaming your partner for everything

Think about it. If you’re always blaming your partner for things, what does that say about your relationship? Are you comfortable with a spouse who blames everything on you? Think about how you’d feel if they blamed every negative aspect of their life on you. It might seem like a small thing now, but it can be indicative of bigger issues in your relationship—and could spell its end.

 4) Focusing on the past

While we may have made mistakes in our past, spending too much time rehashing them with your partner is a surefire way to build resentment. Keep things moving forward by focusing on behaviours you’d like to improve in your current relationship. Talk about how you can do better and what you hope for from your partner going forward.

 5) Taking your problems out on each other

When we’re stressed out, emotional, or having a bad day, our natural inclination is to take it out on our partner. Remember: you’re both in it together, and you need each other just as much as you need air. There are times when hashing things out is necessary, but be careful not to let your emotions rule your actions.

 6) Resenting what you have

If you already have a great life and career but are never satisfied, it’s time to take a step back and ask why. You may be sabotaging your happiness by focusing on everything you don’t have, as opposed to what you do. Take time each day—even just five minutes—to focus on something that makes you happy, such as spending time with your family or doing something creative. Remember: being grateful is a learned skill!

 7) Feeling like a victim

Blaming your problems on other people, places, or things isn’t helping you—or your relationship. Feeling like a victim leads to resentment and unhappiness. Instead of blaming others, focus on taking action by changing your thoughts, feelings, and behaviours. If you need professional help with personal issues, seek counselling from someone who has been trained to help you. The American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy is a good place to start looking for a marriage and family therapist in your area.

 8) Enjoying the drama

Most people love a little drama now and then, but too much conflict can make your relationships unhealthy. When you’re on good terms with someone, you won’t be looking for drama; instead, it will come naturally. Don’t be afraid of your closest loved ones—let them into your life, and allow yourself to let go of negativity and anger.

 9) Being too negative all the time

People who are negative all of the time are just plain annoying. Even if they have good intentions, they never seem to be able to see any good in anything. When you live with someone like that, you’re bound to get on each other’s nerves sooner or later. If negativity is creeping into your marriage or your friendship, it may be time for some change. To keep relationships healthy and happy, it is important to fight negativity in yourself and others.

 10 ) Gossiping behind their back

If you’re not telling your partner, or anyone else for that matter, what you think of their behaviour, then there’s a chance you may be gossiping about them behind their back. Gossip is often extremely hurtful, and if you are involved in any kind of rumours surrounding your partner, it might be time to reevaluate your behaviour. Don’t worry we don’t mean to go around telling everyone how great they are!